My brilliant concert description rejected

Hmm. I wonder what my director's objection was to the following blurb that I proposed we send to the media and put on our website to describe our upcoming concerts:

blurb A:
"Join the ABC Congan Drum Ensemble as we bring you innocuously tuneful do-re-mi pieces with
lyrics derived from poetry composed by local children. You will hear
the sounds of mashed potatoes, Disney, Handel-like-but-not-quite-Handel, the warm spring breeze, and the rays of the sun. You will also hear the sound of spell-binding chants, the rumble of the ancient sea, and the rejection of death."

I think it aptly describes our program. . .

But they didn't want me to send that one.

So then I proposed blurb B:
"Please join our Boring Bassoon Ensemble as we celebrate the sounds of spring. Our repertoire explores the simple quotidian pleasures of nature in springtime: flowers, the sounds of wind and rain, the rainbow sky, the warm rays of the sun. Featuring new and recently commissioned works of local composers . . .."

Blurb B got rejected because someone thought quotidian was a bit too advanced for our audience. (Um, these people write for a living. I think they can handle quotidian words like quotidian. . ..)

So now we are on blurb C:
"Please join the Blaring Bagpipe ensemble for our upcoming spring concert. Our aSchoenbergesque repertoire explores the simple pleasures . . .."