28 December 2007

Phone ettiquette and pet peeves. . .

Is it hypocritical of me to on the one hand, be annoyed at people who I call 3 times, but never call back, but then to also be annoyed to be the recipient of 3 calls that I don't have the energy to return?

In the case of case 1, there are several guilty people. I don't mean to sound high maintenance, but if I call you 3 times over the course of a few months, at some point, if our friendship is more than a token friendship, then I expect you to call me back, or at least email me and say, "Sorry I haven't called you back." Or have an infant. :)
It's not the act of not calling me back that bugs me so much as your earnest "promises" that you'll "definitely" call back, etc., and then you never do.

Don't make promises that you can't keep. Or if this is a hint for me to stop calling, that's fine too, but then I get mixed signals from some of you, b/c then you tell me in gushy tones to come visit.

As for case 2, this is Mr. Venn diagram, who I "broke up" with after sort of seeing him for 2 weeks. Since our venn diagrams don't overlap at all, I often don't have much to say to him. Yet, he calls, which is perfectly fine, if it were once a month or less. After all, I see him regularly. So really, between running into him almost daily and our unshared interests, I don't have a whole lot to talk to him about. So when he calls multiple times in a week, although as a rule, I try to call back everyone that calls so I don't become like case #1, it becomes really trying when you are busy as hell, don't have time to eat or breathe much, and this person who doesn't really excite you much keeps calling you. A few times a week.

So perhaps I'm like the kettle that calls the teapot black or however that expression goes, but damnit people. If you call me 4 times (in one week. Not over the course of several months or a year as in my case.) and I don't return your calls, then perhaps it's time to pace your calling.

How about you wait till I call you back? Then roughly count how many days it took for me to return your call (to gauge exactly how interested and excited I am to talk to you), and then leave that much space between the next call?

Media bubble

Wow. I really must make it a point to read the news. I just happened to look at the NYT yesterday, after a several-day hiatus, and in the course of a few hours (while I was watching a movie), the former PM of Pakistan was assassinated. I'm sure if I had a TV, this would be blaring all over the news, but since I don't have a TV, and since I don't subscribe to actual hard copy papers, it's really easy to live in a sort of bubble and not be aware of the goings-on in the world for this week that I am off. Can you imagine if I hadn't checked the news? How could I be aware of the latest movie releases but not of Bhutto's death?

I am still in shock over her sudden death and the fact that I might've missed that minor tidbit, had I not checked the NYT.

12 December 2007

Slightly neurotic, but we love him anyway.

My caper-chord-loving, congan drum instructor is an absolute nutcase, but we still love him. Please observe exhibit A--extensive notes for practicing our music:

"Procession I'VE GOT NEWS: The sound is really gorgeous. Go to www.metronomeonline.com, click on the A 440 (starting pitch) and keep a pulse of eighth note = 138. Duration of notes before breaths (in # of eighth notes): est 3, it 2, e (of hodie) 1!, li 2, li, 3, ti 2, ia, 3, 3 & 3. PRACTICE BREATHING RHYTHMICALLY

Ave Maria Kodály HAIL MOTHER OF GOD: altos keep on checking your G naturals for a headier tone. The Tempo I of m. 59 tends to settle in flat.

In Terra Pax JOYOUS PEACE. Sunday was better rhythmically but it still rushed on letter C sopranos. From m. 25 to the end (with the exception of letter E) I'm at quarter = 100 (practice speaking on www.metronomeonline.com). The last fugato entrance of the middle part was off on Sunday (pick up to m. 83) caught some off guard? Singing more sound throughout solidifies the harmonic transitions. Very effective ending and the spirit was there. "
etc. etc.

Note the instructions to go to such-and-such site and click on such-and-such a tempo marking and practice. Even though this is probably a perfectly reasonable expectation (if it weren't for the potlucks, work functions, final papers and everything else going on during the 2 busiest weeks of the year, that is. . .. Right now, anyone that wants me to do anything besides sleep, eat, go to work and practice is being extremely unreasonable), I can't help but find this absurd.

And yet, he wouldn't have taken the trouble to type all this out if he weren't serious. And this is why we love him to silly pieces. . .. Because he tells us to go to metronome.com and tick out eighth=138 and practice to this online metronome thingie and he is 100 percent serious.

As much as we laugh and at times, groan about his unreasonable demands, it is such an honor to sing and make music with someone who is so exacting and demands perfection and 120 percent out of all of us, as well as with my fellow drummer/choristers who live up to this expectation, all the while being full-time moms, working full-time, taking care of family, taking classes, volunteering on 200 committees, singing or playing in other groups, ice skateing, doing martial arts, training for a marathon, and reading a book a week, etc. etc.

On that note, I better stop blogging and get on that site and practice my eighth=138 timing.

07 December 2007

I want a classical music version of Chowhound

After extolling the virtues of Chowhound on my not-as-clandestine food blog, I've decided that what this area really needs is a classical music equivalent of Chowhound. A board where I can find out about latest performances (grouped by region). A board where I can find out about which version of a score is better--the Henle-Verlag or Barenreiter. A board where I can play "name that tune" or "name that conductor" (e.g. does anyone know the name of a composer whose name begins with R and wrote a double trumpet concerto in E minor? It turns out that google is quite useless for such queries. . .). A board where I can ask people whether such-and-such an opera is worth going to or where I can post my own opinions about whether said opera is worth seeing. A board where I can ask about diminished chords in a certain piece. A board where I can ask people what their favorite recording of the Mahler 3rd Symphony is. A board where I can ask for suggestions for picking music for a memorial service for someone who likes Schuman.

Why doesn't such a board exist?!?!?!??!?

I can't spell backwards

I thought I was being clever by coming up with a username for my Stanford alumni account that was the backwards spelling of my name. After all, I have a yahoo account in which I spell a word backwards, and I get no spam in this mailbox whatsoever. So after getting about 100 pieces of spam per month (I only check it once or twice a month, so deleting 70 to 100 messages every time I logged on got old), I requested to have my email username changed to my first and last name spelled backwards. I had planned on using it as my official email address someday.

Well, no more. It turns out that I can't spell backwards. Thus I switched 2 of the letters in my last name. Instead of telling people that this email address is "simply my name spelled backwards", I now must tell them that it's a combination of my first name spelled backwards, plus my last name spelled in pig latin.

How cleverly idiotic. . ..

04 November 2007

Ode to four-year-olds

Four-year-olds make great friends. In fact, lately, they've been better friends than some of my friends who are my age and tell me that they are "all booked up" when I ask them if they want to hang out, don't return any of my calls or emails, even though I've left several messages and then followed up with a few emails, or send me annoying forwards but never have time to write me substantive emails.

Thus, here's to all of the four-year-olds in my life who in times of frustration have made me smile.

Why four-year-olds rule:
1. They give you a big smile when they see you and are genuinely excited to see you.

2. You can tell that they are genuinely excited, because they want to share/show you their latest cool toy, magnetic circus coloring thing, costume, halloween candy, game, etc. with you and will run off and get it.

3. They give you the excuse to go trick-or-treating for the first time in, oh, 15-20 years. :)

4. They let you eat waffles for dinner.

5. They share their prized artwork with you.

6. In this age of email, they give you hand-written invitations for dinner, and moreover, bike to your house and hand-deliver said invitation (with adult help).

7. One of them still pronounces my name better than 80 percent of the non-Spanish-speaking grown up population.

8. They say "prestidigitation" while showing me their latest magic trick.

9. I am still cool to them.

On my lesbianism

In my non-left wing workplace, I like to flaunt my lesbianism. Well, ok, I wasn't always lesbian, but on my very first day of work, within 3 minutes of meeting one of my coworkers, I was asked whether I was married. Instead of saying it's none of your freaking beeswax (hellooooo. I've known you for less than 2 minutes. Don't you want to know the proper way to pronounce my name first????????), I said no. Then she asked me if I was engaged. Perhaps you'd like to know what I did before coming to this workplace? After I replied in the negative, she then asked me if I had a boyfriend. Now, those of you who know me know that I'm pretty private until you get to know me, and even then, if I want to tell you information, I will tell you. No need to waza waza *ask* me anything. (Conversely, if you ask me 5 times when my birthday is and I don't tell you, it means I don't want you to know. So if this has happened to you, and you don't know me well enough to figure out that if I don't answer a question that you've asked five times, take a hint; I don't want to tell you.) So you can imagine how peeved I was with this person.

Anyway, I didn't feel like continuing with this line of questioning, so I said, "actually, I like girls." So I have now worked at this place for 3 years, and some people are on to me while others are not.

The other day, one of my coworkers who is on to me said, "so you want to be the
poster child of lesbianism at XYZ and associates? Well, that's kind of selfish of
you. Maybe we should let an actual lesbian be a lesbian. . ."

I wasn't trying to be "selfish", really. . ..

03 September 2007

Why shopping for such a fundamental item is so hard

Why is it so hard to find something that we all wear? I'm talking about underwear. Not panties. I really don't understand who the heck came up with the term panties. Ugh. Just the thought makes me cringe. I mean, who the heck calls these things panties, besides a) clueless guys who think that panties sounds sexier than underwear (it doesn't), b) possibly the older generation--the same generation that owns blouses, or c) companies like Victoria's Secret that think women feel sexier if they called underwear panties (we don't).

To all that, I say blegh.

No grounded female that I know calls underwear panties. (Though no offense if you either wear panties or have a spouse or SO who wears panties.)

But this was not the point of this posting.

My question is, why can't I find simple functional underwear?

I don't want sexy. I've tried the lacy, satin/silk things, back in the day, but they are functionally impractical, probably because they are not meant to be on for long. Thus, they are also uncomfortable and slide around a lot, which is extremely annoying. Granted, I am basing this on a minuscule sample size, but it was enough to learn that I don't like these. These lacy, satiny things also have very flimsy elastic, so they don't really stay on securely. If I wanted my underwear off, I would simply not wear underwear.

Nor do I want frumpy.

I used to do my underwear shopping at VS. They had cotton underwear in a style that I liked that were comfortable, functional, and (well, to me) not frumpy-looking. Then they changed the style of their cotton line. Whereas before, the cotton underwear had a sturdy elastic waistband, this new line comes with a very flimsy one, which I already mentioned I do not like. After a few washings, some of them already feel rather loose.

Thus, I've decided to leave VS for a while and tried Macy's.

Macy's has two types of underwear: frumpy and sexy.

What I'm looking for is something in between.

I do not want underwear that is 7 inches thick. That would come up past my belly button and perhaps up to my waist. Unfortunately, most of the cotton underwear was of this sort.

I do not want microfiber or silk or satin or nylon or all of these other fabrics that many underwear were offered in. Microfiber is useful for travel, so I own a few of these, but I am a creature of habit, and for me, cotton works best. Thus, cotton or bust.

I do not want underwear in bright pink, or turquoise polka dots, or flourescent stripes. I do have my share of brightly-colored fare, but it turns out that in warm weather, I wear a lot of light-colored skirts and pants, and patterns and dark colors show right through. I don't know why anyone didn't think of this when they came out with the color line. Today at Macy's, other than the huge 7-inch high (wide?) cotton underwear that only came in well, the boring colors that I wanted, actually, there was nary a pale-hued undergarment in sight.

Not to be picky, but I also do not want white, which I think is the most utterly useless color for women's underwear. Though in general, I don't think white is a terribly useful color for any clothing.

And I certainly do not want a cutesy little bow secured by a bead at the front of my underwear. Actually, if I found underwear that fit all of my criteria except for this, I'd happily buy it, but this was not the case. What is the point of this tiny bow, anyway?

This might sound like a lot of demands, but it's really not. I want functional non-frumpy underwear that is made with cotton, has a decent-quality elastic waistband, and comes in light (but not white) colors. And yet, I could not find anything like this at Macy's, even though they had a whole corner devoted to just underwear. How could a store have hundreds of different types of underwear and not have the kind I want? Guy underwear is always functional. Other than the boxer vs. briefs divide, there are not 100 different types of guy underwear to choose from, because they only carry functional guy underwear. Why can't we have only functional types of underwear? Why are we the ones with pretty useless little bows or satiny straps? I mean, I'm not suggesting they add bows to guy underwear. The male equivalent might be spoilers or something on their underwear. But I have never seen such a thing. It turns out that this is b/c any such thing would be utterly absurd. So would offering guy underwear in 200 different colors and 10 different fabrics.

And yet, with females, this is the norm.



07 July 2007

Moratoriums

This month--and perhaps next--I'm issuing a moratorium on eating out and driving more than oh, 15-20 minutes, which basically means staying within biking distance. Why am I doing this? The main reason is b/c I have been eating out way too much and have been feeling like meh for the past few months. Plus everything here is so eating-out-centric, that I think I'm just rebelling against the idea of eating out 5 or 6 times a week. This just isn't normal. But this was pretty much my May and June.

So now I'm going the other extreme and not eating out. Actually, I already have to break this twice, b/c of work-related stuff, but for the most part, I plan to spend more time cooking with friends and cooking at home.

How has it been so far? I'm loving it. What have I made these past seven days? Let's see. . .
-Sunday, I had gwind over for brunch. I made mango gazpacho and buckwheat crepes stuffed w/ gruyere cheese and spinach. Yum.
-Monday, in addition to leftovers from Sunday, I steamed yellow beets and made a shaved fennel, radish, beet, orange and toasted walnut salad w/ a lime/honey vinaigrette. This is a recipe I stole from our lovely Canadian friends who are now far, far away. . . but I digress. It is a delectable summer salad.
-Tuesday, I went over to another friend's house and made samosas, after which, I thought I died and went to heaven. :)
-Wednesday (the 4th of July!), I made a saffron-laced pasta salad w/ toasted pine nuts, currants, and almond slivers for a picnic.
-Thursday, in addition to enjoying leftovers of the saffron pasta salad (for both lunch and dinner), I made my favorite summer dish-- a savory watermelon salad with ricotta salata, pine nuts, and chiffonaded basil, dressed with a lime vinaigrette. I also made a ground peanut cucumber salad, which came out ok. Nothing out of this world, but cold cucumber anything is refreshing in the summer.
-Friday, I made a corn salad w/ toasted mustard seeds, and cornmeal shortcakes w/ tomatoes and mozzarella.
-Today, I had people over for a temaki party.

Normally, I don't cook daily like this-- but the salads entailed very little cooking (mostly chopping, making vinaigrettes, etc.), and I must have felt kitchen-deprived, b/c I did go out of control this week. However, I sat down to a lovely healthful meal full of vibrant beautiful colors every day of this past week. Thus, the first week, I thoroughly enjoyed my week "at home".

I loved that I could take advantage of the bounty of seasonal veggies that I got at the farmer's market.

Next week, I don't expect to cook as much, but I imagine I'll do some more similar salads. Perhaps make lavender melon soup w/ the melon I just bought today. . ..

17 June 2007

Dinner with Mr. Might-be-engaged

I had my dinner last night with Mr. might-be-engaged. We had a lovely dinner at Pizzaiolo. If I had any better foodie credentials, I would have taken pictures to document the gluttony that transpired that evening, but alas, in my frantic frenzy to find out whether my friend is engaged, I forgot to take the requisite pictures.

Thus in lieu of photos, I will give you a description of what we ordered:

For appetizers, we got
-roasted figs w/ a ricotta-like cheese that had a young balsamic glaze that was slightly caramelized and baked over it (superb. I really liked this appetizer, which can also double as a dessert.)
-A faro salad with arugula and cherry tomatoes and shaved pecorino cheese. (also really yummy. I mean, with pecorino-tomatoes-baby arugula combination, can you possibly go wrong? Not overdoused with dressing as many salads tend to be.)

For the main dish, I got a summer squash pizza with basil oil, while my friend got a halibut. The pizza was quite good. Although it is not NY pizza, the thin crust had just enough crisp/chewy factor, as well as the right amount of cheese. I also liked the delicate flavor that the basil oil imparted. The halibut was also quite tasty, though I was more partial to my squash pizza.

For dessert, we split what I thought was going to be something in which strawberries were going to be the central theme, but in fact, turned out to be amaretto-flavored ice cream w/ a big crumbly cookie and a few strawberries mixed in. I wasn't crazy about the amaretto-flavored ice cream (it should've been vanilla w/ black specks!), but the berries and the crumbly cookie were very good.

Overall, I really liked the food at this place.

But to return to Mr. might-be-engaged, he turned out not to be engaged. He is also not as east-coast reserved as I had originally thought. Let's just leave it at that. . ..

15 June 2007

My five favorite kitchen utensils/appliances

So I was in Sur La Table today looking for a graduation gift idea. I know I know-- kitchen stuff don't really have much to do w/ graduation, but my friend just got her PhD, and will be moving across the country to start a teaching position in August. She won't have a new house or anything, (which is probably the more appropriate time to get kitchen stuff-- or if/when she gets married), but nonetheless, she is starting anew.

I actually intended to get her a nice pepper mill (since
everyone should have a pepper grinder), but then my eyes started wandering over to the cheese section, the cool silicone baking mats. . . I ended up spending a good hour in the store trying to figure out what would be useful to her.

Which then got me thinking about my favorite or most-utilized kitchen gadgets and appliances. Stuff I cannot live without. So here goes a list of my favorite kitchen tools in no particular order.

1. Microplane grater-it grates Parmesan cheese, chocolate, nutmeg; it zests citrus. . . I think this is probably my favorite kitchen gadget. So versatile, so elegantly simple, and so useful! I mean, it grates three of my favorite food groups. :)

(this isn't a "must have", but if you are going to get a microplane, then you must also get whole nutmegs, so you can grate it over oatmeal, hot cocoa, steamed soy milk, over sweet potatoes, pancakes, sauteed spinach, soups. . . once you go whole, you will never go back to that powdered stuff again, but I digress. . .)

2. Wine opener my roommate got me from Germany-I don't actually use this frequently enough, but I am really fond of this thing and will probably cry if I ever lose it, since I have not been able to find anything similar in the U.S., much to my annoyance. If I ever go to Germany, I will buy 10 of these things. I just love the simple design. Mine has a plastic end, which I could part with, but the rest of it is stainless steel. There is a t-shaped lever on top w/ a nose-like thing that you point down to turn the screw into the cork. Once the screw is deep enough in the cork, the nose-like thing at the top catches on the protruding edge, and automatically gets tipped up, at which point, the screw now starts to travel upward till the cork can't go any further. Every time I use it, I marvel at the engineering and design of this thing.

3. Pepper mill- everyone who is serious about food should have a fresh pepper grinder, imbo. I personally sprinkle freshly ground pepper on almost everything. Well, ok, not ice cream or cake, but I've put it in pies, sprinkle it on certain fruits, use it in vinaigrettes, and pretty much use it to season almost everything that is made on a stove (sautes, stir fries, soups, omelets, sauces, pasta, curry, etc.) and most savory things that come out of an oven. The fresh stuff tastes worlds apart from the pre-ground stuff that you find in the spice section. One of these days, I will upgrade to one of these wooden ones that has 3 or 4 different sizes of grind, but my acrylic one works just as splendidly for now.

4. Immersion blender-this is another thing that everyone should have. Make sure you get one that comes with a chopper and whisk attachment. I am partial to my microplane, but I use this thing several times a week for chopping, pureeing, mincing. . . pretty much everything.

In fact, I used it so much that my original immersion blender, a Braun, broke. Twice. After that, I got myself a Cuisinart, which seems to be doing fine for now. Here are the many things you can do w/ an immersion blender:
-beat egg whites so you can make meringues and souffles
-make tapenade
-make hummus
-make baba ghanoush
-finely chop nuts
-finely or coarsely chop lots of things
-make smoothies
-froth milk
-puree soups
-make breadcrumbs

5. A really good chef's knife- you do not need an 11-piece knife set, but what you do need is one good chef's knife. You can eventually add on other types and sizes of knives, but if you get just one knife, get a chef's knife and make sure it is a J.A. Henkels or Wustof. If you take good care of it, you will have it for life. Forget the $39.99 knife sets they sell at Target. I'm not trying to bash Target, but they sell the kinds of knives that are too dull to cut tomatoes or leave you with a string of onion dominoes, b/c they are too dull to fully pierce the papery onion skin.

6. (if you have 5, then you will want this--) knife sharpener to sharpen #5. Though actually, according to Patita, you can sharpen knives on the back of a ceramic bowl as well.

7. Silicone spatulas-another kitchen tool that gets frequent use in this apartment. They are especially useful for baking, but I use it for sauteeing, mixing, serving, cutting, as well as for many other things.

After all that time spent at Sur La Table, I ended up getting my friend a pepper mill after all.

Next time: essential things you should have in your pantry.
(Peppercorns, whole nutmeg, cinnamon sticks, maldon sea salt, olives, soup stock. . .)

09 June 2007

Asking awkward questions

So I am supposed to go on a info-seeking mission to the East Bay at some point to find out if a certain guy is engaged. I guess I could just ask him point-blank, but the problem is that I don't really know him too well. Oh, and he's one of these formal, reserved, east coast types. He is also one of these serious eldest child types. (Note: I am not mocking these types. I can caricature these two types, b/c technically, I'm one of these types as well, except that I occasionally need to be frivolous as well.) In other words, he is the very sort of person that I'd have a difficult time extracting this information out of.

This could happen one of two ways:

1) The "subtle" way-- probably the method that my friend prefers, but I can see myself spending hours at this pizza joint in Oakland, half paying attention to his conversation, and half trying to find an angle to subtly work this whole engagement thing into this conversation. Hmm. What would be likely to get him to open up about his personal life and fiancees or lack thereof to someone who has hung out with him maybe all but two or three times? Maybe I need to conjure up an imaginary fiance of mine. I'll tell him that I'm engaged, and then hopefully, he'll say, "me too", or not. Oh wait. Scratch that. I don't have a ring that could even remotely pass for an engagement ring. . .. NM. :-P

Thus, I think then, I'll go with method #2:
2) The "ask point-blank" way-- I'm usually not a "point blank" asking type of person, especially if I were interested in this particular guy. However, in certain situations, and with certain people, I can be very point blank to the point of probably being rude.

For example, I once saw $120 per spoon spoons from Tiffany listed on someone's registry. I mean, wth. Granted, I know it is a registry and you are supposed to request things you wouldn't buy for yourself, but I was looking for something appropriate to give to a "sort-of-but-not-close friend" level, and I think the cheapest option were these $120 Tiffany spoons. Ok, I'm majorly digressing, b/c this $120 spoon thing really baffles me, but do people a) suddenly take up an interest in $120 per utensil place settings just b/c they are getting married? Or b) do people have these wish list of things they want-but-will-hold-out-till-they-get-married? B/c although I might upgrade from my el cheapo Ikea silverware, I don't think I will ever suddenly want $120 spoons just b/c I am getting married. But on the second possibility, again, I understand to an extent about people holding back on buying things like the cuisinart big mixer thing. But what if you don't end up getting married? I mean, if there is a $120 spoon that you really want, why don't you just get it instead of waiting for the big day?

Anyway, So I called my friend, the groom who had probably nothing to do with this registry and asked-- "So you're like 45 or so. The average life expectancy is about 87, so we'll tack on a few years and make it 90, which means that you've finished living half of your life already. And right now, you are using what sort of spoons? Oh. Mismatched from good will? Yeah, me too. So tell me. What is the rationale behind you at your halfway point in life suddenly deciding that you have to get $120 spoons. I mean, if you were going to get maximum use out of them, then shouldn't you have bought them way earlier? Or do you suddenly at 45 have a newfound appreciation for high-end spoons?" We have the sort of relationship I can get away with asking such blunt questions, b/c that is how I think we first met.

But back to Mr. eldest child/east-coast reserved type. I'm not sure how point blank I can be with him. Mr.-$120 spoon can roll with the punches and take my line of questioning/uncouthness. I'm not sure about Mr. is-he-engaged. Will he be taken aback? Get flustered? Get mad?

Since I am not asking this information for myself, but rather on behalf of someone else, I feel less inhibited. All the same, I still probably need to find a nice segue into, "so, are you engaged?" As I was telling my friend, if it were left up to me, this is how the conversation would transpire:

(Setting: hip-ish restaurant in the east bay. We are almost done eating our main meal. Actually, we could have just finished ordering appetizers, but somehow, I think, just in case this doesn't go over too well, I will save it till we are both almost done with the meal. Mr. possibly-engaged is updating me about his summer plans.)

Mr. Possibly-engaged: ". . .so I really want to summit Mt. Kilimanjaro w/o the help of Sherpas. I've been doing some conditioning and training, etc. and have been keeping myself busy."

moi: "Wow. I just did my big travel thing a month ago, so probably this summer, I will stay put. Maybe date around a little. Look for a new job. Elope. Speaking of eloping, are you engaged?"

Mr. Possibly-engaged: "shemme?"

moi: "Oh, I'm not propositioning you or anything. I'm just idly curious." (Actually, I am not really idly curious at all, but I'm asking this on behalf of a friend. I actually really don't care if you are engaged or not, other than whether the outcome will make my friend happy. I want her to be happy, so in this sense, I guess I indirectly care. However, since I can't actually tell you this, I'm feigning idle curiosity.)

Does anyone have a less overt way of asking someone if they are engaged? I mean, with females, it's a bit more obvious, but w/ guys. . . they don't go around sporting engagement rings. (They really should though. Sometimes this is very critical information.)

01 June 2007

We can all use a little music in our lives

I'm having one of these trying weeks. I'm forgetting to attend meetings and inadvertently scheduling 2 lunches on the same day, b/c I forgot that I already scheduled a prior lunch! It probably doesn't help that I've had some after-work commitment/event every day this week. That, coupled with the week starting on a Tuesday rather than a Monday, has made me feel off-kilter this entire week. Even my bedtimes are off-kilter (as one may surmise from the very late time of this posting).

In the midst of such a week, my Congan drum instructor emailed me a very moving email with a very timely, inspiring quote which made my day and moreover, made me smile. It is on the subject of why (music teachers) teach music:

"We teach music: not because we expect you to major in muisic, not because we expect you to play or sing all your life, not so you can relax, not so you can have fun but so you will be: human, recognize beauty, sensitive, closer to an infinite beyond this world, have something to cling to, have more love, compassion, gentleness, goodness - in short, MORE LIFE! Of what value will it be to make a prosperous living unless you know how to live?
"

I'm currently listening to one of Mozart's piano sonatas--the andante movement. I should really be in bed, but I'm already feeling much better and can feel the tension slowly melt away. I need this right now.

Thank you to people like my Congan drum instructor for providing me with small bouts of inspiration and beauty when I need it and showing me the right way to live--how to be a better human--how to not get bogged down in minor things and live more fully.

We can all use a little music in our lives, but we all need a Congan drum instructor in our lives as well. . ..

24 May 2007

Cookies, cookies and more cookies

The web is truly a time sink. All I was doing was minding my business, looking for a recipe for buckwheat cookies, only to get sidetracked by this blog and this one showing fabulous pictures of yummy looking cookies.

It's not even the holidays yet, and I'm wanting to do a cookie swap. . . anyone?

22 May 2007

Ode to Tea Eggs

This weekend, I made tea eggs with Patita.

Although I cook semi-regularly, I can't remember the last time I've boiled an egg, much less attempt to make tea eggs. In fact, I actually did not know that to boil eggs, one has to put them in the water while the water is still cold.

We threw--er, gently placed--the eggs in cold water and started to boil them. I feel like boiling eggs should be a very simple straigthforward process, but I managed to crack some eggs before the eggs were fully boiled. (Since the recipe called for cracking the eggs anyway, I hailed this as a time-saving measure, rather than regard it as a sign of my incompetence and inability to perform the simple task of boiling eggs.)

At this point, we decided to just throw in the tea bags and some random and not-so-random collections of spices. Pretty soon, Patita's whole kitchen filled with the delicous aroma of mystery spices--a wonderful melange of cardamon, Sechuan peppers, star anise, black tea, bay leaves, peppercorns and other fabulous flavors. We let the concoction brew for several hours, while we sat around like old Chinese ladies and made jiaozi and talked about travels.

Three days later, I cracked open one to eat for dinner. They turned out absolutely beautifully, replete with the cracked design.

But after soaking in our mystery broth for three days, they still tasted kindof bland. Thus, I stood in my kitchen, hovering over our masterpiece, torn between choosing aesthetics over taste. However, after taking my requisite photo as evidence of aforementioned lovely cracked design motif,

I decided that taste won out in the end and placed them back in the broth after cracking them open. Thus tomorrow, I shall look forward to eating some no-longer-aesthetic-but-(hopefully)-boldly-flavored tea eggs.

20 May 2007

Frivolous and substantive friendships

Most of the times, I probably come off as being serious and reserved-- probably that East Coast in me. Or maybe that Asian/Japanese in me, though I am so atypically Japanese (as my Japanese friends would say), that I'm going to blame it on my East Coast upbringing. I cherish being able to have substantive conversation with my friends. However, I also need my time to be frivolous, which is probably not a side of me that many people see. Or maybe I am flattering myself into thinking I'm more serious than I actually am. . .

It's like you get into these certain modes with certain people and then to a certain extent, people sort of expect you to carry on in your expected persona mode. Like at work, for example, to certain people, I am gay.

This isn't exactly schizophrenic, nor am I being disingenuous (well, except perhaps at work), but with person A, I might be more sarcastic, while w/ person B, I might be more serious, etc. etc. But in general, probably my serious to frivolous ratio is about 4:1 or something like that (if one can quantify such things).

However, with certain people, this ratio is closer to a 1:1 ratio.

Sagacious Broccoli is one such person who seems to bring out my frivolous side, but without stifling my contemplative/serious side. With her, I can be both frivolous one minute, and have a substantive conversation with her the next. Or better yet, sometimes the conversation is seemingly absurdly silly, but we are talking about very serious things--like satellite friendships and surrogate or imaginary boyfriends and criteria for lifetime partners (being able to speak Chinese is on my list, for example, even though I barely speak a word of Chinese. :-P) and jet-lagged pee. I mean, with whom else can I have a meaningful conversation about jet-lagged pee?

For two short days, I got to spend time with her and see how she lives it up in one of the world's largest cities. She took me all across town--to her favorite shops, hutongs, street food stands, and to fabulously grand restos that serve yummy worm-like things that aren't really worms and fantastic faux smoked chicken. (She even tried to take me bar hopping the day I flew in from Saigon on an allegedly direct flight at 3:40 a.m.!) In the 36 or so plus hours I spent with her, we spent a lot of time talking and catching up about our respective lives, thoughts, dreams, etc., and even more time giggling and being our silly selves.

I don't know why, but she seems to be able to bring out that side of me more than most of my other friends. (I mean, if only she knew how serious I usually purport to be!) Maybe we are not really that funny, but when the two of us get together, we find humor in the most mundane things, all without the aid of any mind-altering drugs or stimulants.

Not counting the time I spent with her in Hanoi, it had been about 8+ months since I've last seen her, but it was like we could pick up from where we left off when we last saw each other.

I sometimes worry about the inevitable process of drifting apart from friends that I'm currently very close with, especially when they move far far away, as Sagacious Broccoli did. To a certain extent, as we grow older, as we move from one place to the next, as our life situations change, and as we ourselves change and evolve, perhaps this is unavoidable, and I accept--and sometimes embrace--this. On the other hand, as was the case with Sagacious Broccoli, some friendships seem to elude such passage of time and evolution.

Which is not to say that in forty years, when we are both nearing retirement and the new "fifty", both of us may not have changed so much that we may no longer have a silly-yet-meaningful friendship. (Actually, I am not sure this sentence made sense. The basic structure of the sentence should be: ". . .which is not to say that we won't change in forty years. . .")

But in the meantime, here's to frivolous and substantive friendships. May they live on into my old age. . . (or until I've perhaps matured a bit.)

18 April 2007

My identity--a hot commodity

My identity must be a hot commodity, b/c someone keeps wanting it. This is the *second* time that it has been unwittingly taken from me. I'm failing to comprehend why the heck someone keeps wanting it, but it's really annoying. Well, ok, it's probably all of that money I have in my bank that my identity gives these people free access to.

Right on the heels of--well, almost right on the heels of--heading out of town, I get a call from my bank asking me if I've authorized a second wire to China. Um, excuse me. Did you say second? I never remember authorizing a first one, and certainly not for half of my savings amount. I won't bore you with the details of what transpired afterwards, but let's just say that a)someone out there has all of my information (or enough to manage to fool the bank to wire large sums of money) including how to forge my signature; b)I had to close out all of my accounts w/ my bank and completely reopen everything, which means new checks, new ATM card, re-setting up automatic deposits and payments, etc.--all of which I cannot do instantaneously, and much to my grave annoyance, c) I cannot use my debit card, withdraw money, pay bills or write checks for a short while. Grr.

I am really quite flummoxed about how this happened. A second time. No, not the second wire to China that I authorized, but the second time someone tried to pass as me and take out money from my account. I thought I became more vigilant about guarding my data, shredding stuff, being careful, etc., but evidently, not enough. I wish I had more time to devote my full attention to this matter.

Next time, I hope to write about something much more interesting.

01 April 2007

Posting hiatus

Gosh. I haven't posted to this blog in ages. Just an interim post to say that I haven't totally disappeared from the scene. I've just been occupied with other stuff, I guess. . . like trying to figure out whether to go back for more school, doing the zillions of exercises I need to do as part of my PT regimen, planning my trip to China/Vietnam, etc. . .

But one of these days, I shall post more frequently.

03 February 2007

Modifying dance shoes--a stupid idea

Given my frequent dancing of late, I decided to invest in more supportive dance shoes than the ones I currently own. I went to the nomadic shoe store, and found the almost-perfect pair--except that it had taps. Since they fit so comfortably, and comfortable shoes are hard to come by, I decided not to be stalled by some taps and bought them, figuring I could remove the taps at home.

I thought it would be as simple as unscrewing the screws, but unbeknownst to me, in addition to being screwed tightly on, the taps were crazy-glued to some plastic thing, which was sewed onto and glued to the leather surface I was ultimately trying to get at. Thus, I spent an undisclosed ridiculous amount of time yesterday and this morning unscrewing (which was the easiest part), unraveling string, prying plastic off of leather, and finally, attempting to chisel away at some rubbery non-stick thing with an exacto knife.

Perhaps the exacto knife blade becoming undone should've been an indication that this was probably more hassle than it was worth, but I continued to chisel away. . . until I accidentally gouged myself in the knee. Luckily, it wasn't a deep cut, but ouch.

I decided at this point that I should perhaps stop. Actually, to be honest, I can't remember if I stopped because of that, or because I wanted to go running (yes, with a gouged knee. . .).

The moral of the story? If you need regular ballroom dance shoes, don't get tap shoes and think you'll simply modify it, b/c it's not that simple.

Assuaging my Banh Xeo cravings, finally.

Today, I dragged my friend Patita and her SO down to San Jose to get Banh Xeo w/ me. Actually, "drag" is perhaps not accurate, since she came along willingly.

I had these once in LA, but have not been able to find them in any Vietnamese restaurant here. Thus, when my friend told me that I can get these crepes at Grand Century Mall, I was very excited. However, that was months ago, and hence, I have been craving them for quite a while now.

So today, I finally found a willing subject to go try these with me.

None of us had ever been to Grand Century Mall before. The interior is a hidden (mostly) Vietnamese shopping mecca. In fact, I think we were the only non-Vietnamese/Chinese in the entire mall.

There was only one stall that sold Banh Xeo--and only one kind at that--so I was a bit nervous about the lack of options. I also wondered whether I might have over-hyped these crepes in my head and thus might be disappointed by the real thing. What if I dragged my friends down all this way, and it turned out to be a very mediocre food experience? I/we waited with nervous anticipation. However, when the food finally came, I took one bite and I was in Banh Xeo bliss.

I can't remember if the ones I had in LA were better, (they seemed to have more stuff in them than the ones we got today) but the dining experience was every bit as good as I had hoped.

It's actually a very simple dish-- a thin crepe with shrimp, pork (which I asked to have removed), mung beans, bean sprouts, wrapped with lettuce and various herbs, and dipped in a tangy/spicy sauce. . .. But the combination of these various elements is uncommonly good. My friends seemed to like theirs as well.

After we assuaged our banh xeo cravings, Patita and B tried some intriguing Vietnamese dessert drink, while I stuck to the more pedestrian grass jelly tea. They both seemed to like their drink, so perhaps I will try it the next time I visit this place.



30 January 2007

Japan's Wartime Responsibility

The other day, I went to an interesting seminar on WWII regarding the issue of wartime responsibility in Japan. The event centered around a recently released book that summarizes the findings of a study conducted by the Yomiuri Shimbun.

In commemoration of the sixtieth anniversary of the conclusion of WWII, the Yomiuri conducted a year-long study from summer of 2005 to summer of 2006 primarily on Japan’s wartime responsibility, but also looking into other issues, such as whether the atomic bombs were necessary, the role of the media, etc. The articles are available here: http://www.yomiuri.co.jp/dy/features/0007/.

I confess that I have not had a chance to read the columns, so cannot speak to their quality. (The one random article I skimmed through sounded more like a rationalization than a reflection; however, given that it was an English translation, I'm willing to give Yomiuri the benefit of a doubt and attribute the somewhat defensive tone to mistranslation of nuances for now.) Either way, this is a laudable institutional attempt at examining the war. What I find truly remarkable about this whole project is that the most influential newspaper in Japan—one with a reputation for being right-leaning, no less—took it upon itself to conduct research on a controversial topic and present its findings to the general public. Actually, although the Yomiuri has been traditionally a right-leaning paper, its recent editorials have criticized former PM Koizumi’s visits to Yasukuni Shrine, perhaps marking a sharp rift from its past editorial stance.

There have been numerous such studies on Japan's wartime responsibility conducted by Japanese academics, but these often tend to stay within academic circles. This has been one of my sources of frustration, when trying to debate or discuss the topic of Japan's role and reflection on WWII.

For example, there are tons of Japanese books written about the various atrocities that Japan has committed against other nations and people--the biological experiments conducted by Unit 731, treatment of prisoners of war, and the rape of Nanjing, to name a few.

Yet, much to my and other Japanese historians' annoyance, the New York Times' editorials never make mention of this when they criticize the decision of Japan's prime minister to visit Yasukuni Shrine. Instead many U.S. papers, as well as other reputable non-Japan specialists--be they academics in other fields or journalists--have an annoying penchant for equating the prime minister's actions with the views of the entire Japanese population, and thus frequently portray all of Japan as a monolithic mass of people who are in denial of the country's wartime history.

Moreover, whenever I discuss Japan's wartime responsibility with American colleagues, they are often clueless about the extent to which the U.S. played a role (a rather large one, I may add) in aiding Japan's "wartime amnesia", which is another source of frustration for me.

How do you begin to have intelligent discussion, when there are gaps in knowledge?

One thing that this project undertaken by the Yomiuri might do is fill in these gaps.

Thus, I attended the seminar with high expectations. The Yomiuri person explained the premise of the project a little bit, then made a brief presentation of its findings-- which to oversimplify, holds the following groups responsible for the progression of the war:
-the mass media, which deceived the public
-the Japanese government (specifically the diet, I think)
-the Japanese people

The Yomiuri study deals strictly with the Pacific War between the U.S. and Japan. Here was my first problem. While I understand the need to narrow the topic, given that the war in Asia is where most of the controversy lies, why did the Yomiuri choose to look at just the Pacific War, rather than the war w/ its Asian neighbors?

Second, this book has already been translated into English, which, given the topic scope, perhaps makes sense. Yomiuri is working on getting it translated into Chinese. But again, it is almost as if this study is targeting an imagined community of English readers who might benefit from reading this study. Wouldn't it have made more sense to translate this into Chinese first?

I don't know much about history education in China, but given the reaction of Chinese youth to Koizumi's visits to Yasukuni, as well as anything that has to do with Japan and the war, I get the sense that Chinese readers may benefit from reading a study such as this one. (Of course, I should probably read the study before making such pronouncements!)

I feel that in the case of history education in Japan, I feel that it is a case of どっちもどっち(Sorry to English speakers who don't know Japanese, which I believe is 99% of potential readers--all 5 of you, that is. . .. There's really no equivalent phrase in English, b/c English is limited like that. But back to my point.) in terms of the Japanese government making at times ridiculous public judgement calls, and the Chinese people reacting. While I'm not trying to side with Japan, I often feel like the Chinese people and students are fed one side of the story and b/c the Japanese government deals w/ the wartime issues one way, the Chinese people do not realize how much diversion there is within groups in Japan regarding this topic. All they see is Koizumi visiting Yasukuni shrine, or Abe making pronouncements about the Japanese government's role in recruiting comfort women, and react strongly to these episodes.

During my grad and undergrad days, I used to one-sidedly condemn such acts of the Japanese government as well, but lately, as I read more things and realize how distorted the NYT's translation of Abe's statement is, for example, I've taken to a much more nuanced view of things--which, for the most part, is still critical of the Japanese government's handing of these things, but also partly defensive when the whole world reacts to one bad translation or interpretation presented from the lens of one reputable newspaper that everyone happens to read.

However, Japan--be it the media or the government--doesn't really make sufficient attempts to dispel these misunderstandings, either. For example, when studies such as this target more of an imagined community of English speakers (as the translation of this book into English suggests), how does this help allay the feelings of Japan's Asian neighbors?

Which brings me to my second question/contention, which I may have already answered-- who is the target audience of these published studies?

If the purpose of this project is to "increase understanding" about Japan's wartime role/responsibility, whose understanding is the Yomiuri trying to increase? And again, the very fact that this book was first translated into English before any Asian language (Korean, Chinese) bothers me a bit. Shouldn't it be these people whose understanding Japan should be trying to speak to?

Although I think that the Yomiuri is taking a big leap towards the right direction, I would now like to see them conduct a study on the war that Japan waged in Asia.


21 January 2007

Passage to India--not all that it's cracked up to be

I had high hopes for this restaurant. Lots of people told me that the buffet was very good. "The best in the area", some would even say. Thus, I've been meaning to check it out for the longest time, given that it is so close to where I live.

Well, today I went with a friend to check it out. It was pretty decent, but not out of this world. Not even excellent, but passable. Some of the dishes were very good. The selection was also quite extensive. However, as a whole, it didn't wow me over.

Maybe it is the buffet format that lends itself to so-so food. Or maybe I was looking for more quotidian Indian food. Or maybe it was that I couldn't eat half of the options, b/c they were meat dishes. Or perhaps I didn't feel sated, b/c I was hoping to get khir. Maybe I over-stuffed myself silly.

I'm not sure why, but the food didn't excite me. Then again, buffet food usually is quantity over quality, and thus, may not be intended to excite.

In fact, lately, whenever I go to a buffet, I find myself being more excited by the idea than by the actual execution of buffet-dining plan.

Mentally "breaking up" with guys I never dated

Since I don't actually date guys :-P, I occasionally mentally break up with guys that I never actually went out with. I think I did that recently, or I'm on the brink of doing so.

Why did I mentally break up with this guy? Well, the short of it is that our venn diagrams didn't overlap in the least. For example. . .

He doesn't eat non-white people food (Sorry for being un-PC. This isn't meant to be pejorative, but I'm in a facetious mood and this is my blog.) or never has.

He doesn't seem to eat things that photosynthesize, whereas they (and non-white people food) make up the bulk of my diet.

To top it off, he doesn't like most of my favorite foods. (Mushrooms, sushi, eggplant, squash.)

Oh, and the one meat I would contemplate eating (prosciutto), he doesn't eat.

Our hobbies do not overlap in the least.

He doesn't watch/has never watched films with subtitles.

He has never been to a foreign country.

He doesn't run or swim.

He watches TV, but I do not.

None of these individually are deal breakers per se, but what the heck does one do with someone that doesn't like the same foods as you do, and doesn't take interest in the same things you do (like running, swimming, watching movies with subtitles or trying different cuisines)? Heck, I wouldn't even be able to invite him over for dinner.

Anyway, so I mentally called the whole thing off.

13 January 2007

Finally getting the hang of waltz

It's bad enough that I am severely rhythm-challenged, but when you combine that with an inability to tell left from right, it makes learning to dance (my new pursuit of late)/follow rather difficult.

To top this off, I've always had an added mental block with waltz, b/c waltzes are in 3, and yet, when I first learned it, I was taught that the footwork is essentially a box. My question--or point of confusion--always was, how does one fit a 4-sided box into 3 beats?

I have taken a few cross step waltz classes before, so I think I can now follow cross step reasonably well, so long as the lead adheres to mostly standard routines.

However, since I have never taken an intro class to "standard" (rotary) waltz, I often have trouble following a basic waltz, especially if over the course of a night, the two dance pieces are played one after another.

I am taking viennese waltz classes, and the instructor went over the basic waltz. However, instead of describing it in 3-count, he described it in 6 count, and then proceeded to give us several analogies of how to think of the steps as a whole.

Finally, finally, I think the light bulb in my head went on.

The 6-count explanation made so much sense.

Why hadn't someone explained it to me this way earlier?