There are two types of people. Well, ok, there are more than two types of people, but for the purposes of this posting, there are two types of people with regard to language and grammar—A. people whose opinions I can trust without having to consult a reference book (style guide, grammar guide, dictionary, etc.), and B. the rest of you. I’m working on placing myself in category A, though I deserve to be in category B most of the times.
People who write in run-on sentences fall into category B, unless you are from a country that uses British English.People who can’t properly use “comprise” fall into category B.
People who misuse “peruse” fall into category B.
Journalism teachers who try to tell me that “ok” is incorrect and that the proper spelling is either “o.k.” or “okay” (wrong and wrong) fall into category B------.
Aforementioned journalism teachers who try to tell me that senator is always capitalized (wrong again; according to both A.P. and Chicago, you do not capitalize, unless you use it as a title of address, directly preceding the senator’s name. Otherwise, it is a common noun.) fall into category B----------- as well.
People who write me emails and don’t capitalize the beginning of their sentences, whether it’s because they think this is cool or out of laziness or maybe because they are actually illiterate?—might fall into category B, depending on the time of month and how forgiving I feel.
- If you are sagacious broccoli, then I’ll notice the transgression, but you still fall into category A. If you are sagacious broccoli’s friends, then you’re probably automatically category A.)
- If you are some guy that I might’ve once had a crush on, but am now over b/c my fickle mind is in a fault-picking mood (i.e. “this is why we wouldn’t have worked out anyway”), then apologies for the inconsistency, but you’ll probably fall into category B.
People whose work I have to edit, because they can’t distinguish between “pass concerts” and “past concerts” also fall into category B.
So if you are one of these category B people, and I tell you that this sentence needs to be fixed because “entitled” is wrong in this context: “Our latest CD, entitled Idiotic Relaxing Music, is now available online.”
then please don’t write back and tell me that you “don’t quite agree with the word change of ‘entitled’ vs ‘titled’.”
Because, quite frankly, if I have to tell you that “pass concerts” should be past concerts, then I really don’t care whether you agree with me or not.I don’t mean to be obnoxious, but please just make the change instead of wasting my time, because it now reads “. . . Our latest CD - Idiotic Relaxing Music” and this is just wrong, wrong, wrong, damnit. It’s one thing to use hyphens as substitutes for m-dashes on a blog or personal email or other private site, but on an official website, a hyphen should never be used as a substitute for an m-dash. Use two hyphens if you must.
Besides, Strunk and White, Chicago, AP and my Garner’s Language Usage Book all favor titled over entitled in this context.
If you had listened to me in the first place, then I wouldn’t have wasted 30 minutes blogging about this or have spent another 15 minutes firing off emails complaining about this or explaining that your “solution” is still wrong.
I have more productive ways to waste my time.
2 comments:
Heh. I hope I'm not in category B. I write terrible run-on sentences, but so did Charles Dickens, so at least I'm in good company. (Another fun fact I pull out to comfort myself is that Shakespeare split infinitives and wrote "different than" instead of "different from," among all sorts of other grammatical infelicities.)
I do, however, agree completely about "comprise." My PhD supervisor tried to make me write "A piece comprised of three sections" in my dissertation, and I wouldn't.
Another pet hate we seem to share is capitalization where it isn't necessary, and non-capitalization when it is. How difficult is it for these dolts to learn the judicious use of the shift key, for crying out loud? Actually, I once decided not to date someone because he wrote me an e-mail that started "Dear Sofiya, Today I went for a walk in the forest at dawn and heard the wonderful singing of some Tuis and Bellbirds." I was so appalled at what I considered appalling illiteracy that I never wrote back. I am such a bad person.
You are one of sage broccoli's friends, so that automatically puts you in category A. Plus you write a lovely blog.
Ok, so the random capitalization thing I don't find as egregious as misspelling or misusing its vs. it's, etc.
In Japanese, for example, there are no capital letters, so I wouldn't necessarily expect a Japanese person to know what words get capitalized. But I don't like it when people do this: "i don't care. you decide. i'll do what U want." I might think you're illiterate (unless I know you aren't), so you might as well not give me the misfortune of doubt.
If someone courting me is attuned enough to notice and distinguish between tuis and bellbirds (btw, I had to look up "tuis"!), then I'll happily take them. :)
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